Thoughts for the Week
Hell's KitchenFinally, someone decides to fight dirty! To me the best part of any reality TV series comes out when people start trying to screw each other over. Michael's screwing over Christopher and having Ramsay 86 him was one of the best moments of the show so far. Watching him chew out Christopher about how his walk just didn't match up with his talk was in a way a fantastic validation of the way I view life in the kitchen. In the kitchen, you don't need to brag or say you're good, your food speaks for you. And if you're lying, then you're gonna get found out pretty soon.
I do have to say, though, that I believe now that Michael is not going to win the competition. His disregard for his team during service, when he hung back on the dessert station when his team was getting slammed, was shameful. For one, the dessert station wasn't going to get much business unless the entrees were served. He was nowhere near slammed, and that selfishness is going to come up and bite him in the ass big time.
Another Lack of UpdatesSo, last weekend I was up at the Vancouver Lindy Exchange, and this weekend are a bunch of things to do ... a blues party in Seattle, a blues festival in Portland and a blues party in Portland. And do I have a day off this weekend? Nope.
I am going to be neurotic come Monday morning. Updates maybe to come next Thursday? Maybe.
Reader Mail - Why this career?I get mail from readers regularly asking about how I got started in this second career. Figured I might as well put it up in a post for all to know.
I have always loved cooking, ever since I was a little kid. I would do a lot of baking/cooking, when I was young, and with the rise of FoodTV when I was in college, I was always trying my hand at new things in the kitchen and trying out new restaurants.
One of my favorite places to eat at eventually became my third space (that space that's not home, not work, but still yours), a restaurant that, sadly, is no more, Cafe Mira. I got introduced to it via the GM at Emeril's Orlando, who mentioned that the chef there, Mike Johnson, had worked with Emeril and was putting out some good food. When I got back to St. Louis, I checked it out and I was hooked. Simple, good food, with the freedom to choose flavors from across the world. You might find an Indian themed appetizer, an Italian entree, and an all American dessert. I hung out there so often that I would come in, ask for my regular from the bartender, and then walk immediately into back of the house to hang out with the staff. Looking back on it, I am amazed at how much they must have liked me (or at least, respected Mike) because I was always welcome in the back of the house. One night, even, Mike asked me to work the dessert station because he had to press the flesh. Brilliant. I was so friendly with the staff that I ended up doing things like taping "Survivor" for them.
I think the best illustration, though, of how much this pace was my third space, was the day I found out I was going to be laid off by Accenture, the consulting firm. I was called by a partner's secretary as I was leaving the office that day and she wanted to see when I could come in to have a meeting with the partner the next afternoon. Word of layoffs had been coming down the grapevine, and the fact that my HR manager hadn't been able to get me on projects very often (or many of my friends ... a lot of dead weight in that office) and the fact that I had never met with him said, "You're fired." So I went straight to Cafe Mira, walked in, and started drinking. When Mike came in about half an hour later and asked what was going on, I told him, and he, like a good cook, made me another drink. Half an hour after that, I was passing out on the couch in the entryway. When I heard one of the staff ask Mike, "What are you going to do about Martin? Guests are coming in half an hour!" To which Mike replied, "He'll be fine." The staff eventually persuaded Mike to get me home somehow. He took me himself, and when I got home, I passed out.
I was living in a cook's world, and even then, I didn't know it.
But until that day that I got laid off by Accenture, it had never really occurred to me that I could make a career out of it. However, I was absolutely miserable being a consultant, kissing a lot of ass (both client and internal) and trying to be someone that I wasn't. After that, though, I realized that I liked food enough that I should just go ahead and give it a shot. I had hung out in Mike's kitchen enough to get a feel of what it was like and Bourdain's
Kitchen Confidential only confirmed what I saw, so I decided to go forward. I had no experience, and everyone I knew in the industry tried to dissuade me from going forward, but I knew that this was where I wanted to be. I took a guaranteed job back in Houston and started working on the next part of my life.
I got sidetracked by the idea of going to culinary school in Australia, that I should be saving for that, but I found that dancing was much more fun and cool in the short term, to the point where I was going to a lindy hop (a vintage form of swing dancing) event in a different city practically every weekend. I got tired of trying to fill up the place in my heart where my career, my life's work, should have been with a hobby, and so I decided to bite the bullet, go into debt, and enroll in culinary school in Houston. It was the only way I was going to get my ass where it needed to be.
I went to a place called
Alain and Marie LeNotre Culinary Institute. I didn't know it then, but it was a great school to go to. 100% hands on, with small classes (my largest class was about 9 students) and fantastic French instructors, I enrolled in a 14 month evening studies course. During the day, I worked as an IT worker. By night, I was in school. Those were long days, something to prep me for the months ahead, but in the end, it was worth it. School was fun, and about the only time I really questioned why I was there was, of course, during pastry classes, pastry being the bane of any chef's existence. When I graduated, I was $20K+ in debt, but I was on the right path. In a way, I had bought myself a happier life ... well, maybe not bought ... mortgaged, but still, it's happiness all the same.
Second Stage, Delirium and Fox
Second StageSo there's been a lack of updates this past week. Part of it has been due to the fact that I've been working hard. On Thursday I went to another restaurant in town to just hang out and do a short stage. A guy I used to work with had recently been hired there and the restaurant has a reputation as one of the best in city. I had heard rumors about this kitchen, specifically about their high food costs and when I was there I saw why. Not only do they spring for the best ingredients, but they use expensive bottled mineral water in all of their cooking ... making their soups, as a cooking liquid, etc (no, they don't blanch their veggies in it, but it's close). Their staff is some of the most experienced and talented I have ever seen in a kitchen, with many of the line cooks having experience as sous at other restaurants. They have a tremendous attention to detail, a perfectionism that I loved to see. These people really cared about the plates they were putting out.
And, to make things even better, they're fun to hang out with, an absolute blast. When you're working 10-12 hours a day in close quarters with people, you'd better make sure you like them, and these guys fit the bill. We were regaling each other with incredibly crass stories (the cooking of a wife's placenta, who's shit their pants the worst, etc). They even have a bong over the walk-in.
This place has everything I want in a kitchen. Serious food, fun people to work with. The only problem is that I don't have the experience for it right now. In a kitchen where everybody was a sous, I'm definitely the odd man out. But I'll be keeping my eye on it.
DeliriumKitchen people are party people. And on Saturday night, I partied. Hard. There was a blues party in Seattle and I was invited to DJ. I had originally planned to go there early, do a short set, and leave in time to get a good amount of sleep. Instead, I got talked into staying for the rest of the party.
It was worth it. But.
In some ways I think that working in the industry is a grinding test of endurance. You can do anything you want on your off time, but when you're on your shift, the house owns your ass. Example? I drove from the party to work. Yeah, it was one of those parties.
7:30 AM and I'm doing great! It's Father's Day, we're going to be slammed, and I'm having a fun time prepping the fruit garnishes for the dishes. I was just cruising along, chop chop chop. Not a problem, and it felt like I had hit my second wind. I was going to be fine.
I was fine until around 9:00 AM. The sous also had a rough night as well, and we were both kind of passing out on the cutting boards in between tickets, so it was time for caffination. 4 shots of espresso, a Mountain Dew and a Diet Coke later, and I am still passing out, occasionally saying something that resembled a sensible remark, but most of the time I was lapsing into delirium. Time for some serious intervention. Since I had been DJing at the party, I had my laptop with me, so I plugged it into the kitchen's stereo and started playing some high energy swing music. So there I am slinging hash browns on Father's Day while doing jazz steps behind the line. It was the only way I was able to stay up through service.
As soon as I got home, I passed out on the couch for a 6 hour nap. Got up and watched TV for 3 hours, then went to bed for another 4 hours. What happened then? Well, it was time to get and to open the restaurant, of course.
Crazy.
FoxLast night on Fox I caught another enjoyable episode of Hell's Kitchen. It's nice to see the teams finally starting to come together, with the red team finally serving all of their plates at service. After seeing Mary Ellen's performance, I wasn't surprised that she was the one to go. Andrew did well. He demonstrated that he could keep his mouth shut, even when he was put into the crucible of making a mistake and getting a tongue lashing from Ramsay. His ability to keep his mouth shut was a step forward. Mary Ellen's inconsistency was a step back.
Predictability is highly valued in the restaurant industry. Even if you're not doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing (say a slightly larger dice than expected) at least you're doing it consistently. Your product will cook at the same rate and be done at the same time. Where you are and what you are doing can be relied upon. Inconsistency keeps people guessing. If you're predictable and a fuckup, at least you're a predictable fuckup.
But back to the TV. It was interesting to see the teaser for the TV version of Kitchen Confidential. I can tell you already, I don't like the name change of the main character, and it looks like the show is basically a kitchen based comedy that uses some of Bourdain's stories and paid him a hefty sum for the stories and the naming rights. Hell, if they wanted stories, they could just walk into a kitchen and ask for them. It's all about having Bourdain attached to it that provides them any sort of value.
He's selling out, in effect. Good for him. Bastard.
You'd taste better too
So we all know the saying, "Vegetarians taste better." Sure they do. But you want to know some other things about vegetarians?
1) They taste even BETTER wrapped in bacon. Hell, everything tastes better wrapped in bacon.
Which reminds me ... one of the chefs at work is Jewish and we were talking about chicken sausage. I made the comment that it really should be pork sausage, and he said, "Of course! You can't have sausage without pork." Of course I enjoy this guy.
2) Vegetarians are a pain in the ass. They always want something special, and then there are so many different types ... vegans, ovo-lacto, pescetarians, etc ...
So, it was no surprise tonight on Hell's Kitchen that Wendy, the vegetarian, got 86ed. She was working the meat station tonight! The evil part of me really enjoyed that.
And one other morsel to nibble on, considering vegetarians taste better ... I find a bit of dark humor that the tastiest of cooking methods, barbecue, originated to deal with one of the most problematic types of flesh: human meat. Now, would a barbecued vegetarian taste better?
The joy of not cooking
Outside of work, my biggest hobby is social dancing. I pretty much focus on blues dancing, a dance that has an underground, but strong, subculture. In the Pacific NW, that subculture shows up in the form of house parties, so last night after work I drove three hours to go to a blues party in Portland, OR. A blues party is like, well, a giant house party with better music and much better dancing (imagine a house full of 100 people all doing some amazing partner dancing at 4 in the morning). I had a great time spinning a set for this appreciative crowd, dancing when I could, and, like any good cook, getting thoroughly plastered.
I passed out on my airbed from a combination of alcohol and exhaustion while the party was still going strong. When I woke up in the early afternoon, I went downstairs to see one of the most beautiful things any professional cook can ever see: someone else cooking. That's right. Someone else was cooking for everyone in the house.
One of my friends saw that I was up and asked, "Why aren't you cooking?" To which I replied with a sarcastic smile, "It's my day off. Let someone else fucking cook."
Even though I was tired and slightly hung over, I still could have cooked breakfast. And I know I could have done a better job, but that's not the point. The fact is that on a cook's day off, the last thing that I wanted to do was to make breakfast for a dozen covers. Breakfast was being cooked with love and care by someone that wasn't me, and that's all that really mattered.
I'm an opener now ...
I've opened the restaurant twice now on my own. Today was one of those days, a brunch day nonetheless. Brunch is a killer day to open because you're in at 5:30 and well, the shift ends at around 3:30 (in reality, 3:00, but by the time everything is done, it's 3:30). Doesn't sound that bad, right? I mean, many jobs in the industry are 10 hour shifts ... I do one at my stage every week.
However, service is usually for 5 hours on a dinner shift. Brunch? Service starts at 6:30 and the kitchen is open until 10:00 in the evening. That means I'm open for service for 9 hours. I've got an hour to get my prep done and I'm still doing prep throughout service. No breaks, no real downtime, just a flat-out rush through service.
It's nap time. But it's good to know that I'm an opener :)
Hell's Kitchen Redux
A night with Hell's Kitchen ... I'm a happy boy!
I can't describe to you the glee that I have while watching this show. It's the same delight that anyone has whenever they see a slice of their life captured so brilliantly. But it's only a slice ... there's only so much that can be captured in one hour of television. For example, I don't really see all of the people there as people ... they're just characters ... that's how the editors shape the show and it's not a bad thing. It makes for interesting television. And for me, it's something that I'm passionate about, so it's going to be a VERY long post.
What I wish I could see more of is the food and how things get done in the kitchen. I want to know how they are working their stations, how they are doing their prep and exactly how Ramsay has altered his menu to accommodate these amateurs. If he's got popular dishes with brunoise vegetables, then they're screwed ;)
RamsayIt's funny, but after watching the show I have to say that to me, Ramsay comes across as a much more sympathetic character. He's not some unreasonable tyrant ... he wants you to do what you should be doing in the first place and he'll be the first to let you know when you step out of line. But he's also the first to praise you if you do it right. The praise might be quiet, in compared to his bombastic criticisms, but that's the point. When he's so loud, when he's quiet you really take notice. To me, Ramsay is really nothing more than a cook's version of a Marine Corps drill instructor: a hard nosed, quick-to-cut-you-down ass chewer, but one who will build you up when you do right, when you work in the best interest of the team.
I love the fact that he doesn't compromise on making people live up to his standards, to making sure that they develop good habits (and break themselves of their old ones), like when he laid into Michael, the tattooed "exec" chef for 86ing the lobster because they didn't have it in the morning (but got a delivery later in the day). In the end the best thing to do is just get it done. And when he tasted the competitor's signature dishes, it was nice that he was more focused on taste rather than presentation.
And him telling off customers? BRILLIANT! The bimbos need to go back to plastic surgery! And pointing out to the idiot that he has a whole crop of new chefs in the kitchen ... "How hard is it to cook a dish?" It's fucking hard when you're doing it for Ramsay. You want something easy? Go open a TV dinner at home.
How do you win?Some people wonder what's the best way to succeed on this show? It's simple. Keep your head down and do your job. Don't take his criticisms personally, even if the insult is personal ... if you're an emotional person, there's time to be emotional AFTER service. Always ask yourself about the value of your plate (Is this a $20 appetizer? Is it appealing?) - if your answer's no, fix it. If you cut yourself or burn yourself, work through it first, patch yourself up later. If you don't have anything to do, FIND something to do ... a good use of that time would be cleaning ... the dirtier your station is, the dirtier your mind is and the more mistakes you will make. And when Ramsay's screaming at you that it's time to plate something, don't plate it unless it's ready. You're going to get your ass handed to you twice if you deliver something that's wrong (plus screw your whole team over since you have to refire EVERYTHING on a ticket if one item is wrong). You'll only have it handed to you once if you take an extra minute to finish cooking something and present it. So basically, work clean, work fast, always focus on your work, and always do it the way he told you, no matter how much he wants it now.
What would have I cooked as my "signature" dish?I would have done the dish that I did for my final back in Cuisine I in school - duck magritte with mashed potatoes with a honey gastrique. It's a simple dish, the individual components are easily doable in 45 minutes and it was the first one that occurred to me after hearing about the challenge.
Handicapping the raceSo, we're now two episodes in ... who's going to win?
Andrew - This guy says he has 10 years of restaurant experience. He's a pizza boy, not a cook. In the second episode he was all over Mary Ellen's doneness. I'm sorry, Pizza Boy, but even the bartender-turned-culinary-student knows more about the doneness of a beef wellington than you. Worry about your own shit. And his "Absolute Penne?" Where did he learn to put sauce on the rim of the plate. He's also got a huge ego that is going to explode. Chance of winning? 0%.
Christopher - He's a "freelance executive chef." Translation: He's a consultant that tries to turn around dying restaurants, a vulture. Bourdain describes these people in
Kitchen Confidential as some of the lowest of low. They really have very little incentive to turn things around, get things done right, and often have to adjust to the existing staff. He's starting to get what Ramsay wants and I suspect will be put into a leadership role soon to test him, but I suspect that the rust on his line skills will continue to cause him difficulties. Chance of winning? Around 50%.
Elsie - The mother of three ... I like her. She's a quick learner, a multitasker (obviously with 6 kids - yes, mother of three, but she's got three stepchildren) and she should be doing well. I do, however, think her poor attempts at politics will sink he. Chance of winning? Around 40%.
Jeff - The finance exec. He seems to be unenergetic and not willing to go the extra mile, but he seems to have a decent hand on what stuff should taste, and only that gets him above 0%. Chance of winning? Less than 10%.
Jessica - The spiky haired headhunter. So far we haven't seen much of her, which is actually something that says as much as if we had seen a lot of her, which to me means she's been doing her job in an unassuming manner. Chance of winning? 70%.
Jimmy - The purchasing manager. He burned himself during service. No big deal, but fucking HANG ON TO THE FOOD! It doesn't matter how much it hurts, you keep holding it until you've got it put down. It's something that I've ingrained into myself and I wouldn't expect anything less from anyone in my kitchen. He also shows a lack of hustle. Chance of winning? 0%.
Mary Ellen - She's actually a bartender turned culinary student. Whether she's completed the classes, her bio on the site does not say. She seems to have the chops, especially with a nice presentation of her endive salad ... and I'm willing to excuse the lack of complexity on the endive salad. She had real passion for it. I just want to see some spine from her. Chance of winning? 30%.
Ralph - He's a freelance chef, and seems to be doing alright in the kitchen, but his pushiness is going to get in the way of getting things done in the kitchen. There can only be one exec and one sous in a kitchen ... he's neither. Chance of winning? 50%
Wendy - The marketing exec. I absolutely hated her kissing ass with her "signature" dish she presented to Ramsay. He won't tolerate the BS, but she does seem to have a work ethic. However, she also panics easily. Chance of winning? Around 20%
Michael - The tattooed exec. He's got some cooking and presentation skills, but he's also got bad habits and I hated the fact that his ego got into the way of admitting that having the roe on the scallops of his "signature" dish was a big mistake. He doesn't even like the roe, so why did he put it on there? He doesn't know what he wants. Chance of winning? Around 40%.
The 86ed list - Dewberry and Carolann. I had Dewberry pegged as someone who would lose from the first episode (did anyone else love the irony of Ramsay putting him on the pasta station after his crappy baked spaghetti?) . For one, he's a pastry chef. Not to knock pastry chefs, but many spend their days in a bakery, not in a line setting ... and service is a whole other animal that demands adrenaline. Dewberry didn't have it and was slow to the draw.
Carolann's problem was the same ... a lack of initiative. Her bio on the site says she worked as a waitress since college ... and honestly, so far my experience with servers has been less than exceptional. True in a good restaurant a good GM will make sure that his/her staff will be running the food as fast as possible and doing work in every bit of down time. And there are some servers out there that love their jobs and do amazing things where they work. But, in a restaurant where there is no GM or servers are just working a job, servers become some of the laziest people I have ever seen. Put 5 plates of food in a window for a 6-top and tell them to run it and they will look at you, wondering where the 6th plate is. It's on the fucking fire! I just told you to run these plates. By the time you get back, the 6th will be ready. My shit in the window is dying! just get it out! Another example? I had an order of salmon the other day. I asked the server what the temp was supposed to be. By default everything is medium rare, but I wanted to confirm with her. She hadn't even asked the customer how they wanted it done. Un-fucking-believable.
So, yeah, 86 the server.
Other random thoughts about the showNo AC - big fucking deal. A kitchen is a hot place and besides, the temp on the wall thermometer is exaggerated. It's up high on the wall and is going to get a higher temperature.
Winner nominates losers - I like this idea ... creates a whole bunch of friction within the team which makes for good TV.
And a final noteI do understand where these people are coming from. Back when I first was getting into this business, I had a deep, unspoken fear that I would fail. I was seeing that I wasn't getting it fast enough and I was questioning my self worth and my sanity. I know how hard this transition is, even if you have some relevant experience. I may laugh, I may mock, but I can easily see myself in their situation and I understand what they're going through. However, it being the restaurant world and all, sympathy doesn't preclude having a good laugh.
And besides, after seeing the show, I would have loved to have been on it. Although the prize is an even bigger challenge than winning the show, with the right person, it would be manageable. I would basically hire a competent exec, GM and sommelier, and collaborate with all of them about how I want to run the place, but in the end let them do their jobs. My ego of winning wouldn't stand in the way of the fact that winning the show means very little in practical terms of running a restaurant. But the process of winning the show would be great for one reason and one reason alone - getting Ramsay's habits. He's uncompromising and has an absolute respect for making sure that the customer gets the best food possible. Anyone that has those habits is going to be a success.
I had a nice thought, but I ruined it
I was making soup today in the kitchen. I like making soup. Soup is one of my few creative outlets. I can cook what I want, and it's always good. People see the love and notice it. I was ready to come back home and write a large post about how I love to make soup.
But something else happened.
I made ice cream today. Usually that's a good thing. Today it's a bad thing.
I made a batch of creme anglaise (that's ice cream base for you non-frenchies) and flavored it with some reduced Guinness (yummy ... although don't go trying to make a beer reduction sauce ... hops can cause big problems). After I put it in the ice cream machine to churn, I had to go upstairs to make some sabayon.
When I came back, the ice cream looked frozen. Good. Time to give it a quick taste test.
Tastes fine, but ... there's that texture. It's grainy. It's not the anglaise, it wasn't broken when I made it ... I even passed it through cheesecloth. So what was the grainyness? As I passed it around in my mouth, I realized with some amusement and horror that it was ...
BUTTER! I had made butter with ice cream. I didn't think that was possible.
So, I melted the ice cream back into creme anglaise, hoping to get a second chance at churning the creme. No dice. It's still butter. Throw the ruined creme anglaise down the drain, and just clock out and go home. Ice cream can wait until tomorrow. I'd already made a batch of vanilla and that would have to do for the day.
I vaguely remember that butter fat globules stay in suspension until heated to a certain temperature or agitated too much. So I either heated my creme anglaise too hot, my cream was ultra-pasteurized, or I overchurned my ice cream. I did add a new type of cream we had just gotten into the restaurant, so I need to check that in the morning to see if it's ultra-pasteurized. Or I could have just overchurned it.
I wish that's something they had explained back at school. Oh well ... I think the real tragedy here is the beer that wasn't able to live out its life as a happy little scoop of ice cream.
I would say that somewhere my pastry instructor is laughing ... but he's not. He's French. He'd just give a disgusted little smirk ... which, actually, makes me laugh even more about the whole thing.
