Making the Chef

An evil thought

Todd English ... the pretty boy of the modern cuisine world. He made his way to foodie fame not necessarily through the usual channels of Bon Appetit or Food and Wine. Yes, he did get recognized by the Beard Foundation, but it seems like he only really came to fame when he appeared as one of People's 50 Most Beautiful People in 2001. Only then did his name start to really appear on foodie's lips.

In a real cook's world, he tends to get laughed at. A lot. He's such a fucking pretty boy. Where are the burns? Where are the scars? I wonder if he's ever even lost an eyebrow. On his website, he seems to have as many photos of himself with Glamour Shots (TM) poses as he seems to do of his food. In the PBS series Cooking Under Fire the grand prize is working at a Todd English property (not exactly working with Todd English considering he has, at last I saw, 14 restaurants). When I asked what the value of that would be, one of my fellow cooks pointed out you could learn some great skills: eyebrow plucking, manicures, and, of course, manscaping (think trimming hedges ... on a guy ... thanks to Queer Eye for that term).

So with such a pretty boy, the thought occurs to me, "What would happen to Todd English if he got into a car accident and was horribly disfigured?" So much of his fame is based on his looks ... what would his appeal be if that disappeared?

My guess? Crash and burn. He loses his restaurants, then turns to alcoholism, possible mainlining, an eventual trip into the Betty Ford clinic. Eventually, other chefs feel pity for him and they throw some sort of benefit gala once he's detoxed.

Evil. Oh yeah. Welcome to my world.

posted by LindyChef @ 5:52 PM