Making the Chef

Hell's Kitchen Redux

A night with Hell's Kitchen ... I'm a happy boy!

I can't describe to you the glee that I have while watching this show. It's the same delight that anyone has whenever they see a slice of their life captured so brilliantly. But it's only a slice ... there's only so much that can be captured in one hour of television. For example, I don't really see all of the people there as people ... they're just characters ... that's how the editors shape the show and it's not a bad thing. It makes for interesting television. And for me, it's something that I'm passionate about, so it's going to be a VERY long post.

What I wish I could see more of is the food and how things get done in the kitchen. I want to know how they are working their stations, how they are doing their prep and exactly how Ramsay has altered his menu to accommodate these amateurs. If he's got popular dishes with brunoise vegetables, then they're screwed ;)

Ramsay

It's funny, but after watching the show I have to say that to me, Ramsay comes across as a much more sympathetic character. He's not some unreasonable tyrant ... he wants you to do what you should be doing in the first place and he'll be the first to let you know when you step out of line. But he's also the first to praise you if you do it right. The praise might be quiet, in compared to his bombastic criticisms, but that's the point. When he's so loud, when he's quiet you really take notice. To me, Ramsay is really nothing more than a cook's version of a Marine Corps drill instructor: a hard nosed, quick-to-cut-you-down ass chewer, but one who will build you up when you do right, when you work in the best interest of the team.

I love the fact that he doesn't compromise on making people live up to his standards, to making sure that they develop good habits (and break themselves of their old ones), like when he laid into Michael, the tattooed "exec" chef for 86ing the lobster because they didn't have it in the morning (but got a delivery later in the day). In the end the best thing to do is just get it done. And when he tasted the competitor's signature dishes, it was nice that he was more focused on taste rather than presentation.

And him telling off customers? BRILLIANT! The bimbos need to go back to plastic surgery! And pointing out to the idiot that he has a whole crop of new chefs in the kitchen ... "How hard is it to cook a dish?" It's fucking hard when you're doing it for Ramsay. You want something easy? Go open a TV dinner at home.

How do you win?

Some people wonder what's the best way to succeed on this show? It's simple. Keep your head down and do your job. Don't take his criticisms personally, even if the insult is personal ... if you're an emotional person, there's time to be emotional AFTER service. Always ask yourself about the value of your plate (Is this a $20 appetizer? Is it appealing?) - if your answer's no, fix it. If you cut yourself or burn yourself, work through it first, patch yourself up later. If you don't have anything to do, FIND something to do ... a good use of that time would be cleaning ... the dirtier your station is, the dirtier your mind is and the more mistakes you will make. And when Ramsay's screaming at you that it's time to plate something, don't plate it unless it's ready. You're going to get your ass handed to you twice if you deliver something that's wrong (plus screw your whole team over since you have to refire EVERYTHING on a ticket if one item is wrong). You'll only have it handed to you once if you take an extra minute to finish cooking something and present it. So basically, work clean, work fast, always focus on your work, and always do it the way he told you, no matter how much he wants it now.

What would have I cooked as my "signature" dish?

I would have done the dish that I did for my final back in Cuisine I in school - duck magritte with mashed potatoes with a honey gastrique. It's a simple dish, the individual components are easily doable in 45 minutes and it was the first one that occurred to me after hearing about the challenge.

Handicapping the race

So, we're now two episodes in ... who's going to win?

Andrew - This guy says he has 10 years of restaurant experience. He's a pizza boy, not a cook. In the second episode he was all over Mary Ellen's doneness. I'm sorry, Pizza Boy, but even the bartender-turned-culinary-student knows more about the doneness of a beef wellington than you. Worry about your own shit. And his "Absolute Penne?" Where did he learn to put sauce on the rim of the plate. He's also got a huge ego that is going to explode. Chance of winning? 0%.

Christopher - He's a "freelance executive chef." Translation: He's a consultant that tries to turn around dying restaurants, a vulture. Bourdain describes these people in Kitchen Confidential as some of the lowest of low. They really have very little incentive to turn things around, get things done right, and often have to adjust to the existing staff. He's starting to get what Ramsay wants and I suspect will be put into a leadership role soon to test him, but I suspect that the rust on his line skills will continue to cause him difficulties. Chance of winning? Around 50%.

Elsie - The mother of three ... I like her. She's a quick learner, a multitasker (obviously with 6 kids - yes, mother of three, but she's got three stepchildren) and she should be doing well. I do, however, think her poor attempts at politics will sink he. Chance of winning? Around 40%.

Jeff - The finance exec. He seems to be unenergetic and not willing to go the extra mile, but he seems to have a decent hand on what stuff should taste, and only that gets him above 0%. Chance of winning? Less than 10%.

Jessica - The spiky haired headhunter. So far we haven't seen much of her, which is actually something that says as much as if we had seen a lot of her, which to me means she's been doing her job in an unassuming manner. Chance of winning? 70%.

Jimmy - The purchasing manager. He burned himself during service. No big deal, but fucking HANG ON TO THE FOOD! It doesn't matter how much it hurts, you keep holding it until you've got it put down. It's something that I've ingrained into myself and I wouldn't expect anything less from anyone in my kitchen. He also shows a lack of hustle. Chance of winning? 0%.

Mary Ellen - She's actually a bartender turned culinary student. Whether she's completed the classes, her bio on the site does not say. She seems to have the chops, especially with a nice presentation of her endive salad ... and I'm willing to excuse the lack of complexity on the endive salad. She had real passion for it. I just want to see some spine from her. Chance of winning? 30%.

Ralph - He's a freelance chef, and seems to be doing alright in the kitchen, but his pushiness is going to get in the way of getting things done in the kitchen. There can only be one exec and one sous in a kitchen ... he's neither. Chance of winning? 50%

Wendy - The marketing exec. I absolutely hated her kissing ass with her "signature" dish she presented to Ramsay. He won't tolerate the BS, but she does seem to have a work ethic. However, she also panics easily. Chance of winning? Around 20%

Michael - The tattooed exec. He's got some cooking and presentation skills, but he's also got bad habits and I hated the fact that his ego got into the way of admitting that having the roe on the scallops of his "signature" dish was a big mistake. He doesn't even like the roe, so why did he put it on there? He doesn't know what he wants. Chance of winning? Around 40%.

The 86ed list - Dewberry and Carolann. I had Dewberry pegged as someone who would lose from the first episode (did anyone else love the irony of Ramsay putting him on the pasta station after his crappy baked spaghetti?) . For one, he's a pastry chef. Not to knock pastry chefs, but many spend their days in a bakery, not in a line setting ... and service is a whole other animal that demands adrenaline. Dewberry didn't have it and was slow to the draw.

Carolann's problem was the same ... a lack of initiative. Her bio on the site says she worked as a waitress since college ... and honestly, so far my experience with servers has been less than exceptional. True in a good restaurant a good GM will make sure that his/her staff will be running the food as fast as possible and doing work in every bit of down time. And there are some servers out there that love their jobs and do amazing things where they work. But, in a restaurant where there is no GM or servers are just working a job, servers become some of the laziest people I have ever seen. Put 5 plates of food in a window for a 6-top and tell them to run it and they will look at you, wondering where the 6th plate is. It's on the fucking fire! I just told you to run these plates. By the time you get back, the 6th will be ready. My shit in the window is dying! just get it out! Another example? I had an order of salmon the other day. I asked the server what the temp was supposed to be. By default everything is medium rare, but I wanted to confirm with her. She hadn't even asked the customer how they wanted it done. Un-fucking-believable.

So, yeah, 86 the server.

Other random thoughts about the show

No AC - big fucking deal. A kitchen is a hot place and besides, the temp on the wall thermometer is exaggerated. It's up high on the wall and is going to get a higher temperature.

Winner nominates losers - I like this idea ... creates a whole bunch of friction within the team which makes for good TV.

And a final note

I do understand where these people are coming from. Back when I first was getting into this business, I had a deep, unspoken fear that I would fail. I was seeing that I wasn't getting it fast enough and I was questioning my self worth and my sanity. I know how hard this transition is, even if you have some relevant experience. I may laugh, I may mock, but I can easily see myself in their situation and I understand what they're going through. However, it being the restaurant world and all, sympathy doesn't preclude having a good laugh.

And besides, after seeing the show, I would have loved to have been on it. Although the prize is an even bigger challenge than winning the show, with the right person, it would be manageable. I would basically hire a competent exec, GM and sommelier, and collaborate with all of them about how I want to run the place, but in the end let them do their jobs. My ego of winning wouldn't stand in the way of the fact that winning the show means very little in practical terms of running a restaurant. But the process of winning the show would be great for one reason and one reason alone - getting Ramsay's habits. He's uncompromising and has an absolute respect for making sure that the customer gets the best food possible. Anyone that has those habits is going to be a success.

posted by LindyChef @ 8:26 PM