Making the Chef

Batali, Ramsay and the 5:00 Whistle

Mario at Salumi

You know, if I didn't write about it, I'm just not that impressed. Yeah, the food was good, the new book is awesome and it's cool to have a signed copy, and yeah, I have a picture of me with him (somewhere in the bins of my digital camera), but what I'd really rather have done is just go out and get drunk with him. Not because I'm a spellbound foodie, but because I'm a young cook, he's a master, he's someone I can learn a lot from. I remember my dinner at babbo and being just amazed at the way the restaurant was run and how good the food was. His food may be haute cuisine, but most of it is still respectful of a cook's attitude ... it's food a cook would want to eat. I remember the pig's food milanese there as being absolutely divine and that earns high marks. Hell, any place that has trotters earns high marks from me.

Gordon Ramsay and Hell's Kitchen on FOX, Monday

(Forgive the cursing, but I'm feeling a bit back of the house right now ...)

As any frequent reader of this blog would tell you, I have no love for annoying foodies and I've been wanting a show like this ever since I became a cook. Most people have no idea what it's like to be on the line in a kitchen and for once, here's a show that's going to show you what it's like.

Anyone who's seen the previews has seen that Ramsay comes across as something of a raging ass, insulting everyone and their food. Which is fine to me. It's a TV show and they're meant to come across more as characters rather than real people. That lunatic of a personality has more to do with entertainment value than any sort of reality ... most of these mad hatter chefs have been replaced by the more quiet, easy going, down to earth types.

But what the show does seem to convey is two things:

1) When service is on, you need to get your shit into the window. NOW! No excuses, no BS, no whining. That's all a waste of time. Just get it fucking done.

2) You are going to be held to a standard, hopefully a high one (if you choose the right restaurant). In this case, he's looking for nothing less than perfection, which is what any quality restauranteur will hold you to. If it's not right, he won't sell it. Re-fire, and stop your bitching. Just get it fucking done.

He may come across as abusive, but you might want to remember the stories of French chefs in NYC in the not so distant past, walking around with a paring knife in hand. If he didn't like what he saw, you got it in the ass. Crude, but effective.

What's the most effective way? For me, I have my own internal standards. I know what they are and I hate to sell something that isn't right. The standards of the restaurant where I work are looser than my own standards and most days I will hold myself to my standards. But when we get into the weeds, good enough for the place I work will do. It's the truth. If we were putting out gourmet shit all the time, we'd have two idiots on my station instead of one. But I digress ... for most chefs I've met nowadays, all they do is simply point out your mistake. Your own internal dialogue takes over from there and it's most effective, especially if they've built a staff that cares about food.

These amateur foodies are going to be in a shock when they realize how high Ramsay's standards are. I will be watching this show with a delightful gleam in my eye, waiting for these doe-eyed foodies to break down and cry. Is it mean-spirited? Of course it is. Do I care? No. it's the business. You can either hack it or you can't, and there's no room for doubt. You're going to get screwed like this one way or another. I had my trial by fire that made my working days miserable. They get theirs. Welcome to initiation, pledge.

The best part of all this, though, is the prize. If you win the show and Ramsay pronounces you as the best of the crop, you get to run your own restaurant!

What a fucking shitty prize! Fuck, just give me a million dollar prize instead ... I'd rather piss it away on something a little more fun than watching a long treasured dream go down the drain.

Some of you reading this might be surprised. Others, with deep knowledge of the industry, won't. Experienced restauranteurs have a hard time keeping places from going under. Most new restaurants fail within the first year. So what happens with one of these amateurs, with no real line experience, no expo experience, no restaurant management experience, no food cost management experience, no (insert whatever's important) experience, actually goes out to run the place? I personally know that I don't have the experience to run my own place, and I'd be stupid to try until I thought I was ready, but it would be even better to wait until I was actually ready ... ego has a way of tricking you to thinking you can do the feats of Superman sometimes. (especially, say, if you win a contest on national TV).

So if I, a professional, know that I'm not ready and would go down in flames, how do you think these amateurs would do? If I was a betting man, my money would be on it to go under within a year. Any takers?

And I hope to god that FOX locked up the rights to make a reality TV show about the winner's restaurant. I'd like another laugh.

My alarm is set for 5:00 AM

I get thrown to the wolves tomorrow. I get to open up the restaurant, working brunch and leading it, cooking saute and being responsible for the entire morning's production. They're slating me to be the new breakfast cook, it seems, and tomorrow is my first real test.

Bring it.

posted by LindyChef @ 8:02 PM